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FAMILY MATTERS

"These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world." John 16:33



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Saturday, May 23, 2009

Grief and Blessings, Fear and Faith

On Thursday afternoon Scott's social worker called and said that it had been decided by the therapist that, if this has to be done, the best way to do it was quickly. We were instructed not to tell Scott because they wanted it to come from the judge. Friday afternoon I packed a small bag of clothes, his Garfield books, and blanket and left it at the end of the driveway for his social worker to pick up before coming to get him. At 1:20 Friday afternoon I kissed him goodbye knowing that he wasn't coming back. He was taken to the court house where the judge told him that, because his mom really loved him and had worked so hard to get him back, he thought Scott should live with her. That wasn't the complete truth, because, other that the birth mom and her lawyer, everybody involved knew that it would be best for him to stay with us. But how do you explain laws that don't take children's best interest into account to an 8 year old?

Scott got to play his last soccer game on Thursday night. It was so hard for Doug and me to watch him play knowing what was in store for him the next day. His team wasn't doing so well, and at one point, he was down close to the goal trying, like crazy, to get that ball in. I just kept praying, "Lord, please let him at least get a goal!" He did. It was the only goal his team made the whole game. He was so pleased.

God ALWAYS answers every prayer, from life altering situations to soccer goals. If it's important to us, it's important to Him. What we need to understand, is that the answer is not always what we think it should be. We prayed for resolution for this heartbreaking two year struggle that has so consumed our lives. It has now been resolved. If we were able to choose the outcome, it would have been very different. But He knows what He's doing, He doesn't make mistakes, and only He knows what the whole picture really is.

Because Scott so desperately wanted to stay with us, we felt that we should leave no stone unturned in an effort to keep him with us. Around every corner, we got the same answer, "according to the law, if the parent is doing everything she is supposed to do and there is no risk to the child's physical safety, the emotional needs of the child can't be considered." We can only assume, that for some reason, known only to God, Scott is where he is supposed to be, right now. He is, after all, God's child, not really ours or the birth mom's.

So now we are grieving a little boy whose absence has left a huge hole in our lives! But we feel blessed to have had Scott in our lives for the two years and three months he was here. We do fear the emotional toll this will take on him. But we have the faith to know that he is where he is supposed to be, at this time, and that he is also in the arms of our Heavenly Father.

Our house is going to be a lot quieter, although, I'm sure Evonne will do what she can to remedy that. We are spending a quiet weekend together. Stephanie will be home Sunday night and Doug will take next week off. There will be a lot of tears, sadness and anger this week and in the weeks to come, but I know we will come through it all with a new strength. We'd rather have Scott, but we have to trust that there is a reason it is the way it is.

The therapist that is working with Scott feels that it is very important for us to be able to have visits with him. He has tentatively set up a visit for us to see him this Wednesday afternoon. We want everyone to know that we appreciate all the support and prayers, and if you don't mind keeping us and Scott in your prayers a little longer, we would be grateful.

Jesus, Friend of Sinners by Casting Crowns

Jesus, friend of sinners, we have strayed so far away
We cut down people in your name but the sword was never ours to swing
Jesus, friend of sinners, the truth's become so hard to see
The world is on their way to You but they're tripping over me
Always looking around but never looking up I'm so double minded
A plank eyed saint with dirty hands and a heart divided

Oh Jesus, friend of sinners
Open our eyes to the world at the end of our pointing fingers
Let our hearts be led by mercy
Help us reach with open hearts and open doors
Oh Jesus, friend of sinners, break our hearts for what breaks yours http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9Kcm2OAWNA
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And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)