Still no word

It has been three weeks, today, that Scott had to leave us. There has been no word from his CASA worker, social worker, or therapist since our visit on the 27th. They all talked like having more visits would be good for Scott, and said they would keep in touch. I have sent two e-mails that have gone unanswered. This is just not a good sign, and I have a feeling that something is very wrong! Please keep Scott in your prayers.

We Have Ducks!

Our chickens moved in with our goat (that's another story), so for the past few weeks we (mostly Doug) have been working on redoing the chicken pen into a duck pen. We (I) thought that it would be fun for David and Evonne to raise some ducklings as pets (it's not easy to find some thing they aren't allergic to). David and Evonne liked the idea, so yesterday we brought home four ducklings (three girls and one mystery). Three of the ducks are Cayuga Ducks. According to Mandy's research, they will eventually have a greenish sheen to their feathers. The females will eventually turn white as they get older (I can relate to that). The other duck is a Khaki who, as it's name implies is a khaki color. The first thing we learned about ducks is that they are too smelly to keep in the house. They will live in the garage until they get their feathers and can live in their newly remodeled duck pad.

David's duck, Miley

Evonne's duck, Lily

Mandy's duck, Daphne

Dad got a duck, too (he did build their home)

The first swim




Drying off after the swim (I hope they learn to do this themselves)




All dry and fluffy again.

I can't wait until they turn green!

Evonne's last concert of the year

Pool Season is Here!

After a week of sunshine, the pool and the kids are ready to go!

A Brave Little Boy

We had our visit with Scott this afternoon in a park in the town where he lives. We were very nervous and worried he would be upset with us. Well, he came running up to us and hugged everybody several times, talking non-stop about the park and going swimming. He quickly set us all at ease. It was very obvious that he didn't want to get into any of the emotional stuff. We brought five boxes full of his stuff. He was pleased to have that. He didn't talk much about the birth mom, but he talked about seeing movies, swimming, and all the junk food he gets to eat. He said he is having fun, but it's better at our house.
Our take on the visit was that he has resigned himself that he has to stay where he is. As long as the birth mom has help keeping him busy with activities and food and he doesn't let himself think about what he lost here, he can cope. There are a lot of supports and help in place for the first six months, but once that falls away, she is going to have to try to figure out how to raise an angry little boy who is smarter than she is.
We just have to keep telling ourselves that he is where he is because that is where he is supposed to be, right now. We will look forward to having occasional visits and still be a presence in his life. I don't think any of us realized how much we would miss him!

Grief and Blessings, Fear and Faith

On Thursday afternoon Scott's social worker called and said that it had been decided by the therapist that, if this has to be done, the best way to do it was quickly. We were instructed not to tell Scott because they wanted it to come from the judge. Friday afternoon I packed a small bag of clothes, his Garfield books, and blanket and left it at the end of the driveway for his social worker to pick up before coming to get him. At 1:20 Friday afternoon I kissed him goodbye knowing that he wasn't coming back. He was taken to the court house where the judge told him that, because his mom really loved him and had worked so hard to get him back, he thought Scott should live with her. That wasn't the complete truth, because, other that the birth mom and her lawyer, everybody involved knew that it would be best for him to stay with us. But how do you explain laws that don't take children's best interest into account to an 8 year old?

Scott got to play his last soccer game on Thursday night. It was so hard for Doug and me to watch him play knowing what was in store for him the next day. His team wasn't doing so well, and at one point, he was down close to the goal trying, like crazy, to get that ball in. I just kept praying, "Lord, please let him at least get a goal!" He did. It was the only goal his team made the whole game. He was so pleased.

God ALWAYS answers every prayer, from life altering situations to soccer goals. If it's important to us, it's important to Him. What we need to understand, is that the answer is not always what we think it should be. We prayed for resolution for this heartbreaking two year struggle that has so consumed our lives. It has now been resolved. If we were able to choose the outcome, it would have been very different. But He knows what He's doing, He doesn't make mistakes, and only He knows what the whole picture really is.

Because Scott so desperately wanted to stay with us, we felt that we should leave no stone unturned in an effort to keep him with us. Around every corner, we got the same answer, "according to the law, if the parent is doing everything she is supposed to do and there is no risk to the child's physical safety, the emotional needs of the child can't be considered." We can only assume, that for some reason, known only to God, Scott is where he is supposed to be, right now. He is, after all, God's child, not really ours or the birth mom's.

So now we are grieving a little boy whose absence has left a huge hole in our lives! But we feel blessed to have had Scott in our lives for the two years and three months he was here. We do fear the emotional toll this will take on him. But we have the faith to know that he is where he is supposed to be, at this time, and that he is also in the arms of our Heavenly Father.

Our house is going to be a lot quieter, although, I'm sure Evonne will do what she can to remedy that. We are spending a quiet weekend together. Stephanie will be home Sunday night and Doug will take next week off. There will be a lot of tears, sadness and anger this week and in the weeks to come, but I know we will come through it all with a new strength. We'd rather have Scott, but we have to trust that there is a reason it is the way it is.

The therapist that is working with Scott feels that it is very important for us to be able to have visits with him. He has tentatively set up a visit for us to see him this Wednesday afternoon. We want everyone to know that we appreciate all the support and prayers, and if you don't mind keeping us and Scott in your prayers a little longer, we would be grateful.