We had our visit with Scott this afternoon in a park in the town where he lives. We were very nervous and worried he would be upset with us. Well, he came running up to us and hugged everybody several times, talking non-stop about the park and going swimming. He quickly set us all at ease. It was very obvious that he didn't want to get into any of the emotional stuff. We brought five boxes full of his stuff. He was pleased to have that. He didn't talk much about the birth mom, but he talked about seeing movies, swimming, and all the junk food he gets to eat. He said he is having fun, but it's better at our house.
Our take on the visit was that he has resigned himself that he has to stay where he is. As long as the birth mom has help keeping him busy with activities and food and he doesn't let himself think about what he lost here, he can cope. There are a lot of supports and help in place for the first six months, but once that falls away, she is going to have to try to figure out how to raise an angry little boy who is smarter than she is.
We just have to keep telling ourselves that he is where he is because that is where he is supposed to be, right now. We will look forward to having occasional visits and still be a presence in his life. I don't think any of us realized how much we would miss him!
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